Shatter the silence

Beauty for Ashes

The church must not be quiet about abuse. If this is you, or someone you love, you matter, you are believed, and there is help.

If you are in danger now

Phone the police on 10111. The national GBV Command Centre is 0800 428 428. LifeLine is 0861 322 322. Childline is 116.

Get to a safe place. Do not wash, eat, drink, or smoke. That can destroy evidence. If clothes must be changed, put them in a paper bag.
Go to a hospital as soon as you can. Ask for a forensic exam. HIV prevention medicine needs to start within 72 hours, and sooner is better. Emergency contraception and antibiotics are part of that care.
You can report to the police at no cost, and there is no time limit. Keep the case number. A person who was intoxicated can still report. Consent cannot be given under the influence of alcohol.
Stay with follow-up care, including the course of medicine, and connect with a rape crisis centre and counselling.

Listen. Believe them. The abuse is not their fault. Do not push them to leave before they have a plan.
Help them name a safe place, a code word, and a bag with ID, medicine, keys, cards, and documents.
A protection order under the Domestic Violence Act can be asked for at a Magistrate’s Court at no cost.

Hitting, pushing, strangling, using weapons, or breaking things to cause fear.

Constant criticism, humiliation, gaslighting, and cutting someone off from people they trust.

Forced or pressured sexual acts, including inside a marriage, and control of someone’s choices about their body.

Controlling money, blocking work, creating debt in someone else’s name, or withholding what a person needs to live.

Threats, stalking, watching someone’s phone or location, and using fear to stay in control.